@SeekingPlumb

Gentlemen: How do you know if you are/aren't sexist?

I was watching the most recent episode of The Good Doctor this evening. There was a character who, when repeatedly called on his behavior, would say, I'm not sexist. So my question is to all of you lovely gentlemen, gentlemen, how do you know if if you are or not sexist or or or if you do or don't tendencies towards sexism from time to time

Or if you do or don't have sexist tendencies?

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@SeekingPlumb

This is NOT a trap, not a place of judgement.

If it needs saying this is not a trap. This is not a gotcha type of situation. I genuinely would like to know your thought process, what you think and how you perceive these things. I'm not looking to judge you in any way. I'm just curious
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@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreoΒ Β·Β 3:34

I’m not sexist, but I have said some sexist things in my lifetime.

Where did this sort of playful banter about allowing a lady to do this or that sort of thing? Where did it stem from? And I think it may have stemmed from some sort of, like sexist view on a lady, even though it was playful in nature. So I can't admit to some degree that it's there within me as a man. But I would say by and large that I respect women. I was actually just accused of being a male feminist
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@Swell
Swell Team
@SwellΒ Β·Β 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@ElasticBD
Greg Dickson
@ElasticBDΒ Β·Β 1:26

I self identify as a man, I guess that makes me sexist @SeekingPlumb

I could argue that to be identified as a male or female is kind of sexist, isn't it? But that doesn't mean it's bad. Now to be discriminatory based on sex is a whole different thing. Is that what you're asking about? It's
@SeekingPlumb

Thank you. @Dewuan @LifeOrigami @MerelyHuman

Thank you each, for your thoughts and perspectives. You have helped me, as I've thought on this topic. You know, I think that it's human in us to categorize things, to label things, and I don't don't think there's anything innately wrong with that. I don't know that I want to say it's as simplistic as this, but I think we run into problems when one gender is elevated over the other
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@Zeitgeist
Michael Zeitgeist
@ZeitgeistΒ Β·Β 4:52

@SeekingPlumb

Sexism, to some degree is ingrained in us, because the perspective in which we see the world is gender specific. Now, of course, we have fluent genders and whatnot and I can see where some people truly see the world from both sides due to their experiences. But the vast majority does not. So gender ingrained perspectives, which are also culturally enforced, are with us on a daily basis, and it takes very conscious work to overcome that which could be seen as sexism
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@Zeitgeist
Michael Zeitgeist
@ZeitgeistΒ Β·Β 2:27

Is feminism the equalizer? @SeekingPlumb

And I think it's embedded in the whole sexism catalog, if you will, as a parallel, perhaps maybe as an adjacent chapter. But as always, things go both ways. And this is by no means meant to be an excuse for sexism, not by any stretch of the imagination. But I do wonder where, in this exchange of sexism and feminism or misogyny and feminism, Where's the balance point? And are we capable of reaching that
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@Tim
Tim Ereneta
@TimΒ Β·Β 3:23

we don’t have a common understanding of the term

Christina, these responses were fascinating, and I think we do not have a common understanding of the term you're using, let alone the behavior. So like before we even get to the behavior, you don't understand the word sexism. And I'm informed on this because I was raised in a feminist household to believe that male and female should be given equal opportunity. So I would say, by and large, I would raise not to be engaged in any chauvinistic behavior
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@SeekingPlumb

@Zeitgeist @MerelyHuman

As several of us have pointed out, we don't have a very clear, definitive definition of what sexism is, not to mention that what one person may perceive as sexism another person may not. So it's rather complicated. In that case, you mentioned that you believe or think that sexism is in part genetic, and I was wondering if you have a study or resource to point to that I could read
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@SeekingPlumb

Some clarification. @Zeitgeist

So just some clarification zeitgeist when I asked for that reference about genetics and sexism, were you saying that genetics gives us evidence of the differences between genders? Or were you saying that genetics shows that we're predisposed towards sexism because I thought you were saying the latter. But then I realized maybe you were saying the former. And so if you were saying the former, I don't need an article. I've read plenty of those
@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreoΒ Β·Β 4:59

So many levels. Lol

So it's interesting how we view sexism as, I guess, in some ways, an unfair portrayal of the male gays in that men, it seems, are only capable of this behavior. And I would say that's not necessarily the case. But I do think with what Tim brought in the institutionalized systematic weight that this word carries, it does kind of favor the male privilege far more than not. Even if you don't necessarily aren't exposed to that as much
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@Zeitgeist
Michael Zeitgeist
@ZeitgeistΒ Β·Β 4:58
Now the other thing that I wanted to add to the whole conversation here is that the idea of sexism in itself. Again, I can see evidence left and right. In fact, all we have to do is look at the current election. 71 million plus voted for somebody who stands tall for sexism misogyny, who has 28 or something like that. Sexual abuse charges or allegations that were made against them. 71 million actually stands behind this 71 million. A good amount of women are okay with this
@SeekingPlumb

Consequences of a belief. @MerelyHuman

Thank you for Elaborating. I think it's fascinating to look at, you know, possibly the origin of where a belief came from and then to see what steps society has taken in to either support that belief, compensate for it, or as a consequence of that belief. And I think the separate locker rooms as an example of one of those, like separate washrooms and worst still seeing all of that play out now, when trans individuals are fighting for their right to choose the washroom of their choice
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@SeekingPlumb

Regarding the initial question. And thank you all. πŸ™πŸ»

I was hoping for the complexity of the conversation that we found here. And so I may not agree with all of you or all of your different perspectives on different aspects of this conversation, but I value each thing that you've contributed because you've all given me something to think about. And so I thank you
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@Zeitgeist
Michael Zeitgeist
@ZeitgeistΒ Β·Β 1:59

@SeekingPlumb

Now, the key ingredient, at least as far as I'm concerned, is balance. We can work together. We need to work together. And I think we're on the same page in that we hope that the improvements that we've seen so far will pick up in velocity and ultimately really lead to a world that is, I'm guessing, not exclusively free, but greatly reduced in sexism. So again, the question itself is highly relevant
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@topgold
Bernie Goldbach
@topgoldΒ Β·Β 2:37

@SeekingPlumb I was a MAC Crew Dog and the subgenre lives on

And I think just my very presence as a member of that group, if elevated to a public forum next to my name and credentials as a University lecturer, it would put me into the black pool. The putrid pool of sexist people, because just by your Association with a group of people who take pride in sexist tropes makes you one. So that's my confession
@SeekingPlumb

@topgold

Yeah, it's interesting. But like, I think also, the difficulty is there's also value there for an individual. For me, I love the game of poker, but at the same time, when you spend time in an environment that can be toxic, it does. It can taint you
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