We typically avoid situations we aren’t going to like, we’re human. If we do this too often, they pile up and cave in when we least expect it.
But like I said, I'm human and I'll never pretend I'm not. And that I have all the answers because mostly I'm just not a very good pretender. So allow me to introduce today's topic of discussion, because it certainly has found a warm and cozy corner in everyone's mind, waiting to jump out at the most inopportune moments to reveal itself
And so, you know, I choose that. I choose that for myself and I choose that for other people. And I also, what I think is so valuable in what you're saying is the realization of the need to have a process for how we handle things from a human perspective when we are triggered. And for a long time, I really did not have a good process, nor did I realize why I needed one
And I applaud you so much for coming for such a long way, way in your journey. And you haven't said what your journey is, and that's irrelevant. But just the fact that you recognize that and you're able to move forward from that. So thank you so much. I really appreciate you and your feedback. It's awesome
I was brought into the world with some wounds around that, around, you know, abandonment and, you know, distorted masculine energy. And, yeah, and I had to go on this journey, so I had a lot of wounding that was subconscious and no amount of therapy seemed to be able to reveal this to me. So I ended up doing a lot of spiritual work and actually spiritual ritual to uncover that. And thank God that I did
This really resonates for me because I was blindsided by a situation a few months ago, and I think I handled it as well as I could. I tried not to be off the handle, but I tried to be thoughtful in how I presented my feelings about the situation. And I'm still dealing with the after effects of that. And there have been times when I've wondered if writing this person a letter would help me heal. Um, I don't know
October Selfcare
@Selfcare · 4:30
And that's what I teach men how to be mindfulness of everybody. Understand that you are a man, but you still can have mindfulness. And one more thing I do want to say. A lot of people don't spend enough of time with their self. A lot of people don't even know how to spend time with themselves. I know when the COVID situation happened, it was so many people getting a divorce
Well, I don't even know where to start. I'm trying to practice being shorter in my answers, but this one's not making it easy because you said, like, four different things in there. That is just so
October Selfcare
@Selfcare · 2:59
My kids don't see that nasty, angry person that I used to be, right? But they'll see a man that could sit down and talk and have a conversation and then, then allow them to have a conversation and not to be scared that imma misuse them or judge them or is my way or no way. Right?
Super quick. I'm just gonna let you know that what you said was so. I don't even know. After the debate I caught in earlier today, what you've just said just encompasses everything. That's exactly what a man is. You are exactly what a good man is. So I hope you don't mind, I'm going to share this on Facebook, that this is the definition of a real man. So thank you
I just want to reach out really quickly and say that everything you said resonates with me very much, especially the part about, you know, black men not being seen as empathetic and sensitive. But look, we're human, and the more we go into those human traits, the better off we're going to be, not just for ourselves, but for our communities as well
October Selfcare
@Selfcare · 1:49
But I'm just glad that God set me down to allow me to move out my trauma and not let that be the focus of my kids, you know, direction. Not saying my kids are going to be perfect or not, but in a sense that I went to that counseling every week, I went to the doctors every week, I took that accountability every week. And when you can do that, you can breathe out a new fresh of air of a generation. That's just beautiful
October Selfcare
@Selfcare · 2:13
One of my mentors told me when he found out what a man was and understood, he said, if you have your kids crying and complaining, your wife crying and complaining, and the man crying and complaining, who gonna be the adult? He said, that's what that man is supposed to do. That man supposed to cry later. Not